- DO meet regularly, but without imposing unnecessarily on your mentor’s privacy and time.
- DON’T reject constructive criticism. A mentor is not a fan but an honest and trustworthy sounding board who will give you valuable feedback.
- DO keep what you share in strict confidence.
- DON’T allow yourself to become dependent on your mentor. Your mentor is there to give a helping hand to a competent and confident colleague, not to act as a nursemaid.
- DO always treat your mentors, past and present, with respect and courtesy. This is especially important once they have taught you all they can and your relationship begins to develop into that of peers.
- DO keep male-female relationships strictly professional at all times. The mere rumour of sexual involvement will irreparably damage the professional and personal lives of both individuals.
Mentoring others
Look back a moment. Who’s that behind you? If you are a career-oriented woman worth her salt, you should consider how you can mentor other women in your wake. In this way you will be investing something of what you have received back into the lives of others.
Your willingness to nurture and develop human potential will demonstrate your own leadership traits to your superiors. Invite a new junior colleague to lunch. Share your knowledge about organisational procedures. Offer constructive criticism of her task performance. Draw her attention to training or promotional opportunities. Give her tasks that will enable her to gain wide experience.
Networks
For years men have helped each other get ahead in the workplace by belonging to informal groups, clubs and professional organisations.
‘Old boys’ networks‘ are used to develop and nurture a web of contacts to provide social support, career advice and feedback. Sports and school connections, community service groups and university connections all help to create a special bond which men do not hesitate to put to good use in the cause of workplace advancement.
But for working women it has not been all that easy. Why? First of all, women have been traditionally excluded from those cosy male groups that meet on golf courses, at male clubs or in bars to exchange career tips informally.
In addition, there have been attitudinal barriers. Women often feel less comfortable about getting on because of who you know rather than what you know.
Another obstacle has been the belief that using others for career advice and support is somehow manipulative, if not downright unethical.
Today things are changing. Women are becoming convinced that networking is not only legitimate, but also valuable. By interacting with other people you can enhance your own work performance and gain feedback about how you are doing. You can also enlist social support when times are tough and assistance in making a career change or gaining promotion. Interaction also helps you to acquire influence in the broader community.
Although the entry into male networks is still not easy, it is much more acceptable today than before. However, it is as important for women to have groups of their own. In the company of other women you will realise that you are not unique. You will discover that other women share your problems. You will meet other women who have already realised the goals that you are still striving for.
Where will you find the old-girls’ network? Start with clubs for women in the same profession. Join them to enjoy the strong network function of informing, sharing, guiding and providing support. Professional clubs usually meet on a monthly basis in the evening, during lunch hour or for a breakfast session. In this environment women can share trust and depend on one another.
In order to network successfully, you must be prepared to introduce yourself to others, state your career goals clearly and discuss your interests. Show your willingness to do favours for others too. After all, networking is about giving and receiving in an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust.
Make the most of all networking opportunities, including your involvement in volunteer activities and even social functions. Leadership roles in organisations that flow from your children’s affiliations such as youth movements, school PTAs and church groups are all avenues to expand your network of contacts without any additional time commitment. They further provide a prime opportunity to forge cross-gender networks.
Overcome the obstacles
Have you taken part in an obstacle race doing the leopard crawl, wriggling through pipes, clambering over barricades and climbing rope ladders? Tough, wasn’t it? You often felt like giving up. You wondered why on earth you’d volunteered for the team.
Remember how you wished that you were still on the sidelines, neat and pretty with your more fortunate friends, cheering rather than perspiring. But remember the sense of achievement when wet, dirty, scratched and sore, you reached the finishing line. Your pride was not because you were first. Far from it, but because you’d made it!
The challenge of being a woman who is moving on and not pounding the treadmill reminds me of those obstacle races.
In this section we deal with two obstacles that we face in a man’s world: the bugbears of sexism and sexual harassment.
